Interpersonal Conflicts

Being in the modern and globalized world that we are in, we tend to be more and more interdependent on each other. Communicating and interacting with one another has already become a social norm in the society today. With the benefits and enjoyment that comes about from these relationships, there are also the flip sides at the end of the spectrum. I am sure that some of us, if not all of us, have been victims of different forms of interpersonal conflicts in one way or another. However, the determining factor that decides the outcome of such conflicts is the way we handle them. What is the best way to settle such issues that would provide both parties a win-win situation?

Being the band major of my symphonic band, my role was to take charge of the band, taking care of the administrations, organizing events and the likes. It was a great honour for me when I was chosen, as it was a signal to me from my teachers that I was worthy enough to ascend the role. All was well during the first few months of my leadership, I was able to command the respect of my band well and things went smoothly. However, things started to get rocky as the term proceeded. I started to realise that when I spoke to my band, I would occasionally witness a few of them rolling their eyes at the things I said, or just basically giving me blank stares, signalling that they were not bothered with whatever I was saying at all. Initially I did not heed much to these as I felt it could be because they were feeling tired due to the long hours of band practice. However, the situation did not improve but only got more serious. I started to witness more scenarios of them talking in small groups and dispersing quickly when I was within hearing range. I knew that there was a problem, but I just did not know how to go about handling it.


One day, me and my fellow leaders, Charlene and Shirley, received a letter from Natalie, a representation of a clique in my band. In the letter, it stated their intense unhappiness about the way the management committee manages the band. They felt that we were being biased to certain sections of people in the band, by giving them more jobs and tasks. They even felt that we were not doing enough for the band as leaders. The climax of the letter came when they stated that Tom was a better candidate to be the leader of the band and that they had already proposed the idea to our teachers-in-charge of the band.

I remember the emotions I felt at that time so vividly. Disappointment, indignation, anger, all rolled into one. I did not know which was the most intense. I felt so maligned and that everything that I did in the interest of the band was all for nothing. My personal time that I had sacrificed for them all felt like they came to a naught there and then. I did not know how to approach this problem, which was such a delicate one. My response towards their behaviour, would either worsen the misunderstanding, or improve the interpersonal relationship.

Until today, I did not know what I did to result in the misunderstanding and miscommunication between us. And I would never know for sure, only being able to hypothesize possible causes. However, I was pretty sure that one of the reasons would be because Tom, the other 'worthy candidate' they felt was better for the position, was from their clique. Hence, the biasness. Probably, it may also be due to the lack of transparency from the management committee. We did not have the habit of sharing with the main band about our behind-the-scenes planning, hence leading to the wrong impression of us slacking. So many probable causes, but I would never know the true one.

So dear readers, how would you guys handle the situation if you were in my shoes? (:

Why Effective Communication Skills are Important To Me

Communication, is defined as the transmitting of ideas, messages and emotions from the sender to the receiver simultaneously. The effectiveness in communication comes about when these ideas, messages and emotions interpreted by the receiver is somewhat similar to what the sender hopes to transmit. In my opinion, effective communication skills are vital to me due to many reasons.

First and foremost, being able to communication effectively would definitely be able to bring me a step closer to my peers, family and loved ones. I would be able to share my thoughts and feelings with them accurately, and them, to me. In this way, it leads to a greater mutual understanding amongst us as we are able to understand each other better, which may even lead to effective communication through non-verbal means. This would only come about when there is a huge depth in understanding a person effectively. Hence, this would allow me to interact with people better, equipping me with greater interpersonal skills.

Secondly, effective communication skills would also result in a decrease of the likelihood of a miscommunication and misunderstanding amongst peers. More often than not, I tend to feel frustrated at my incompetence to transmit information to others accurately, hence leading to a communication breakdown due to a difference in the interpretation of the information given. A common scenario where I have experienced this, would be that in a workplace, where superiors were unable to give accurate instructions to his workers, leading to a failure in completing the allocated jobs. Another would be a miscommunication of ideas among my friends, leading to tension and arguments. Thus, in my opinion, with effective communication skills, such problems would definitely be alleviated, if not eradicated. Instructions would be transmitted how they were supposed to be transmitted, and the receivers would be able to comprehend them how the senders would want them to comprehend. With a greater understanding, the chances of having a miscommunication and misunderstanding would definitely lessen. Hence, leading to lesser tension amongst peers and a greater understanding, which would forge better social interactions and bonds.

On a side note, I recently read on the net, that there is a good interpretation of the word 'assume'. I quote, "when you assume, you make an “ass” out of “u” and “me”. Assumptions happen when messages are not transmitted accurately and there is a lack of understanding, which results in people to assume their own interpretations. This causes misunderstandings and in some cases, leads to embarrassment and awkwardness due to an incorrect comprehension of the information.


Last but not least, being able to communicate effectively would definitely aid me in my future career. Equipped with the necessary skills, I would be able to present myself how I would want my future superiors to view me. Whether in interviews or presentations, I would be able to present my ideas to them accurately, which would again, prevent the occurrence of a miscommunication and an assumption of ideas. This would enhance the productivity and understanding amongst me and my colleagues in a working company. Once effective communication is achieved, I would be able to present ideas to a crowd easily and accurately, leading to a stronger ability in public speaking and hence, boosting my morale and self-confidence.

In my opinion, with so many advantages in effective communication, it is a definite must-have. It allows me to grow into a better person through better understanding amongst me and my peers, as well as allow me to have better interpersonal skills and at the same time, understand myself better to equip me with intrapersonal skills as well, and hence, leading to better social networking.