http://www.justeducation.com/flashindex.html#top
(sorry guys, got to go to employment under the flash advertisement, then click education operations executive)
Quek Shu Yi Alicia
Blk 123 Choa Chu Kang Ave 10
#12-345 Singapore 987654
91234567
quekshuyi.alicia@gmail.com
September 1, 2010
Just Education Holdings Ptd Ltd
Blk 373 Bukit Batok St 31
#03-240 Singapore 650373
Dear Sir/Madam:
Education Operations Executive
I am writing in to express interest in response to your online advertisement for the above post. Having a great passion for teaching, it is also my field of expertise. Hence, when I found your advertisement on your company’s homepage, I immediately felt inclined to apply for the position.
As stated in my resume, I fulfil the criteria of having at least 1year of working experience in tutoring. Having gained valuable experiences through teaching private tuition and in Nuleaf Education Centre, I am very familiar with the most updated MOE syllabus. In addition, I was involved in setting examination papers for my tuition centre and also in designing efficient lesson plans that would cater to the needs of different students. Therefore, be assured that I would be a suitable candidate for this job. On top of that, I was an integral member in organising numerous education programmes designed for children in my tuition centre; namely an educational trip for them to HortPark and also Night Studying sessions, which demonstrates my rich experiences with children and my intense passion for teaching. Moreover, I was once a student in your tuition centre, which makes me even more familiar with the operations in your company.
Being able to multi-task efficiently has always been my forte. During my entire education journey, I was involved in many school-based activities, while still being able to perform well in school. Being very active in my Co-Curriculum Activities (CCA), I have held important leadership positions in the executive committees of my schools’ symphonic bands. However, I was always able to balance and manage my time efficiently for my studies as well. In addition, I managed to nurture valuable qualities like leadership and team sprit, which I am sure, would put me in good stead for this job. Furthermore, I was involved in an educational programme in Pioneer Junior College; called Einstein’s Cradle, which was to facilitate science experiments for primary six students. Through that, I learnt to work well with children and also to conduct effective yet fun lessons. I continued participating actively in school activities in university, by joining my faculty’s orientation committee. I was again, able to strike a good balance between my responsibilities as a committee member and as a diligent student.
I am now still an undergraduate, pursuing my Bachelor degree in Science and majoring in Chemistry, in the National University of Singapore. I would be graduating shortly and I am pleased to learn that your company offers fresh graduates such an excellent opportunity.
I am very confident that your company would be able to benefit greatly with my expertise. Fulfilling all aspects of your pre-requisites, I am definite that I will be able to accomplish any tasks expected from the job with immense passion. I sincerely hope you will look into my resume and take my application into serious consideration. I look forward to a favourable reply from you.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Yours Sincerely,
Quek Shu Yi Alicia (Ms.)
Hi Alicia!
ReplyDeleteYou actually responded to every point in the advertisement's 'requirements' section with a one-point-one-paragraph format!...which really made your application letter delightfully pleasant to read (:
The skills and talents you have do indeed match up very nicely with the requirements and expectations this job requires. Plus, you've thrown in nuggets of 'value-added' information about yourself and your capabilities which really seal the deal (if I were in charge of HR over there, that is).
7C's wise...there really isn't much to criticize. I'd just like to point out this section in your first paragraph: "Having a great passion for teaching, it is also my field of expertise. I had been avidly searching for jobs that specialise..." While reading it, I personally felt the full-stop after 'expertise' should have been a semi-colon instead. Because putting a full-stop there seems to cut off the reader before he/she has gotten very far into your letter...one gets the feeling that the sentence just shouldn't end yet. haha! :P
Hi Alicia,
ReplyDeleteI see so many "integral" that I feel like I am in a math lecture. Maybe its time to expand our vocabulary :)
After reading your first paragraph, I put myself in the employee's shoe and feel that we are like something you pick because you just happen to see the advert and not genuinely want to join us. I hope you get what I mean. Maybe you might want to alter that a bit: )
Hi Alicia,
ReplyDeleteTeacher is one of the most important professions in society as they teach knowledge to students and have great impact on a student’s personal development. I am delighted that you are enthusiastic to pursue a teaching career and all the best for your future job application :)
As for the application letter, maybe you can write things more specific to make your profile more convincing. In your second paragraph, what is the name of the education centre that you was involved in? Also you can elaborate more about the education programs designed to make things more specific. Try to be more specific in the application letter so that your prospective employer can be convinced more!
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHi Alicia,
ReplyDeleteyou are clear and competent in your application letter. You have demonstrated valid examples related to the education industry. These are really plus points!
However, I would like to suggest that you do include certain academic related experiences during university to boost your letter. For instance, conducting research etc. It might not be entirely related to your jobscope but it sure does display your critical thinking skills!
Also, as what Nanhai pointed how, you could be a little more specific with regards to your education programmes that you were involved in.
Thats all for me!
Cheers,
alvin
Hi Alicia,
ReplyDeleteI could imagine you being a cheerful teacher!:)
One suggestion here. In the first paragraph, it makes me, the imaginary employer, a bit uncomfortable when I was told that you only "chanced up the advertisement". Also, it might not be necessary to say that you have been avidly searching for jobs, because it is quite obvious that an job applicant would be searching hard for a job.
In terms of job requirements, your relevant experiences meet the requirements perfectly. What is more is that in this letter, a passion for teaching is clearly evident.
The children would be glad to have you as their teacher!:)
Hi Alicia,
ReplyDeleteHaving already seen your resume, this teaching job is perfectly match made for your experiences. That second paragraph is as convincing as it gets. Conviction, persuasion, active language in listing your relevant experiences - it's all there :)
Paragraphs are also well structured each having a main theme, i.e opening /closing,relevance to job and your strengths. At this point the only criticism I have is similar to the comments above, the specifics. For instance you could elaborate on the most important education programme you have come up with. 7C's wise, you have amended much from what I saw during the class activity so nothing much there either. Great job, Cher!
Hi Alicia,
ReplyDeleteI would directly focus upon the key points I felt:
1- 7C wise it is fine with exact deatils and requirements for the job.Very good work. It is good to see exact past achievement mentioned at exact place.
2- It is a bit long though it won't affect too much.Try to make sentences shorter which I also made mistakes earlier.
3- I think there is no much need of including your introductory paragraph with details of searching teaching jobs.You only need to mention your interest and reason of your application in a very formal tone(which is lacking I think).
4- "Therefore, be assured that I would be a suitable candidate for this job"------- Not very appealing sentence to different types of readers.Always remain neutral in these cases as you never know what you want to say and what others might interpret. I mean better construct it like this- " Hence, I am confident of being suitable for this job". I hope you get my point.
5- Paragraphs are very well written.Splitting will make it finer.
6- It is better to include more of you present academic position of your strengths in university life.Gives good impression on reader about being academically good throughout schooling and now in university.
Thanks for the post.
Shivam
Hi Alicia,
ReplyDeleteWow! A rare breed of people wanting to be educator. This is fantastic, there aren't many people who want to be in this field and it needs more people. Anyways, your application cover letter is fantastic in content. It's very clear to me what each paragraph is suppose to be.
Your work experience is definitely there, but I think your presentation is a little too confident. Few sentences that say along this line "I am the most suitable candidate." I think you could say "With these qualification, it would make me suitable for the job." Whether it's suitable or not it's up to the HR, not exactly you.
There is also this sentence. "On top of that, I was an integral member in organising numerous education programmes designed for children in my tuition centre; namely an educational trip for them to HortPark and also Night Studying sessions, which demonstrates my rich experiences with children and my intense passion for teaching." It's really long. I think you could cut the sentence after the "tuition center" and begin a new sentence.
Otherwise, this is a great cover letter.
Cheers,
Billet
Hi all, thank you so much for all your valuable feedback on my letter! Believe me, I took every single one of your comments into account when I was editing my letter. Indeed, though teaching isn't my ideal job, my resume and experience suggests that it would be the best job for me to write on. But who knows, I may be a teacher in the future! But that aside, I really appreciate all the time taken to read and edit my letter!
ReplyDeleteCheers!