Chopsticks!

Thinking of intercultural situations, I could not help but relate to an experience that I had many years ago, but is still vivid in my memory.  It however, taught me more on my own Chinese culture.

Many years ago, me and my other good friend, Tom, were invited to my best friend’s house to have a meal with his family. Jason is what I would name him and his family consisted of his parents and his older sister.  Feeling honored and elated, we immediately agreed to his offer.

Jason and his family were all from Hong Kong, with strong and rich Chinese culture in them. Hence, not wanting to appear rude, Tom and I bought some dishes to add on to the dinner. All was well and I felt we were both able to interact quite well with his family, having interesting chats here and there while waiting for dinner to be prepared. When dinner was finally done, we made our way to the dining table and I realized that they used rice bowls and chopsticks, instead of the usual plates, forks and spoons that I have at home. However, I took no heed as I was able to use the chopsticks quite skillfully anyway. So, dinner proceeded and Tom tried to keep up the hearty mood by chatting animatedly and using some hand gestures to illustrate his points during the conversation. While doing so, he was pointing his chopsticks at his audience. I felt the response was quite good initially but I realized Jason was lightly nudging him but Tom did not really take note of it. I also realized that his parents were starting to frown slightly but Tom was too busy with eating and talking to realize. As dinner proceeded, the atmosphere became a little awkward as Jason’s family started showing little interest in what Tom was saying and dinner ended soon after.

After dinner, I felt puzzled at the sudden change in atmosphere. Having been raised from a more westernized family, I did not really understand the Chinese culture well. I tried to figure out what was the reason behind the sudden mood change. After thinking it through, I felt it may be because while Tom was talking with enthusiastic hand gestures, he pointed his chopsticks at Jason’s family for a few times, which might be something that their family felt was really rude and ill-mannered.

The next day, I asked Jason what he was nudging Tom for. Indeed it was because Tom was pointing his chopsticks at his family members. For a family with rich Chinese culture, it was very unbecoming and disrespectful and hence, led to their displeasure.  I felt astounded as we did not realize we were being rude to them and immediately went to apologize for our disrespectful behavior.

After researching, I found out that chopsticks are the primary eating utensil for the people of China, Japan, Korea, and Vietnam. Hence, they were very particular about the way chopsticks were used during meals. I also consulted my grandmother about it and she said that was a definite no-no during her time and that her mother would slap her whenever she did it, whether intentionally or not. After learning so much, I honestly felt very ignorant and ashamed that I was not sure of my own Chinese culture at all. However, I am glad that through this incident, I am able to enhance and deepen my Chinese roots to a greater level.

Education Operations Executive (editted)

Link to my advertisement:
http://www.justeducation.com/flashindex.html#top
(sorry guys, got to go to employment under the flash advertisement, then click education operations executive)




Quek Shu Yi Alicia
Blk 123 Choa Chu Kang Ave 10
#12-345 Singapore 987654
91234567
quekshuyi.alicia@gmail.com

September 1, 2010

Just Education Holdings Ptd Ltd
Blk 373 Bukit Batok St 31
#03-240 Singapore 650373

Dear Sir/Madam:

Education Operations Executive

I am writing in to express interest in response to your online advertisement for the above post. Having a great passion for teaching, it is also my field of expertise. Hence, when I found your advertisement on your company’s homepage, I immediately felt inclined to apply for the position.

As stated in my resume, I fulfil the criteria of having at least 1year of working experience in tutoring. Having gained valuable experiences through teaching private tuition and in Nuleaf Education Centre, I am very familiar with the most updated MOE syllabus. In addition, I was involved in setting examination papers for my tuition centre and also in designing efficient lesson plans that would cater to the needs of different students. Therefore, be assured that I would be a suitable candidate for this job. On top of that, I was an integral member in organising numerous education programmes designed for children in my tuition centre; namely an educational trip for them to HortPark and also Night Studying sessions, which demonstrates my rich experiences with children and my intense passion for teaching. Moreover, I was once a student in your tuition centre, which makes me even more familiar with the operations in your company.

Being able to multi-task efficiently has always been my forte. During my entire education journey, I was involved in many school-based activities, while still being able to perform well in school. Being very active in my Co-Curriculum Activities (CCA), I have held important leadership positions in the executive committees of my schools’ symphonic bands. However, I was always able to balance and manage my time efficiently for my studies as well. In addition, I managed to nurture valuable qualities like leadership and team sprit, which I am sure, would put me in good stead for this job. Furthermore, I was involved in an educational programme in Pioneer Junior College; called Einstein’s Cradle, which was to facilitate science experiments for primary six students. Through that, I learnt to work well with children and also to conduct effective yet fun lessons. I continued participating actively in school activities in university, by joining my faculty’s orientation committee. I was again, able to strike a good balance between my responsibilities as a committee member and as a diligent student.

I am now still an undergraduate, pursuing my Bachelor degree in Science and majoring in Chemistry, in the National University of Singapore. I would be graduating shortly and I am pleased to learn that your company offers fresh graduates such an excellent opportunity.

I am very confident that your company would be able to benefit greatly with my expertise. Fulfilling all aspects of your pre-requisites, I am definite that I will be able to accomplish any tasks expected from the job with immense passion. I sincerely hope you will look into my resume and take my application into serious consideration. I look forward to a favourable reply from you.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Yours Sincerely,



Quek Shu Yi Alicia (Ms.)

Interpersonal Conflicts

Being in the modern and globalized world that we are in, we tend to be more and more interdependent on each other. Communicating and interacting with one another has already become a social norm in the society today. With the benefits and enjoyment that comes about from these relationships, there are also the flip sides at the end of the spectrum. I am sure that some of us, if not all of us, have been victims of different forms of interpersonal conflicts in one way or another. However, the determining factor that decides the outcome of such conflicts is the way we handle them. What is the best way to settle such issues that would provide both parties a win-win situation?

Being the band major of my symphonic band, my role was to take charge of the band, taking care of the administrations, organizing events and the likes. It was a great honour for me when I was chosen, as it was a signal to me from my teachers that I was worthy enough to ascend the role. All was well during the first few months of my leadership, I was able to command the respect of my band well and things went smoothly. However, things started to get rocky as the term proceeded. I started to realise that when I spoke to my band, I would occasionally witness a few of them rolling their eyes at the things I said, or just basically giving me blank stares, signalling that they were not bothered with whatever I was saying at all. Initially I did not heed much to these as I felt it could be because they were feeling tired due to the long hours of band practice. However, the situation did not improve but only got more serious. I started to witness more scenarios of them talking in small groups and dispersing quickly when I was within hearing range. I knew that there was a problem, but I just did not know how to go about handling it.


One day, me and my fellow leaders, Charlene and Shirley, received a letter from Natalie, a representation of a clique in my band. In the letter, it stated their intense unhappiness about the way the management committee manages the band. They felt that we were being biased to certain sections of people in the band, by giving them more jobs and tasks. They even felt that we were not doing enough for the band as leaders. The climax of the letter came when they stated that Tom was a better candidate to be the leader of the band and that they had already proposed the idea to our teachers-in-charge of the band.

I remember the emotions I felt at that time so vividly. Disappointment, indignation, anger, all rolled into one. I did not know which was the most intense. I felt so maligned and that everything that I did in the interest of the band was all for nothing. My personal time that I had sacrificed for them all felt like they came to a naught there and then. I did not know how to approach this problem, which was such a delicate one. My response towards their behaviour, would either worsen the misunderstanding, or improve the interpersonal relationship.

Until today, I did not know what I did to result in the misunderstanding and miscommunication between us. And I would never know for sure, only being able to hypothesize possible causes. However, I was pretty sure that one of the reasons would be because Tom, the other 'worthy candidate' they felt was better for the position, was from their clique. Hence, the biasness. Probably, it may also be due to the lack of transparency from the management committee. We did not have the habit of sharing with the main band about our behind-the-scenes planning, hence leading to the wrong impression of us slacking. So many probable causes, but I would never know the true one.

So dear readers, how would you guys handle the situation if you were in my shoes? (:

Why Effective Communication Skills are Important To Me

Communication, is defined as the transmitting of ideas, messages and emotions from the sender to the receiver simultaneously. The effectiveness in communication comes about when these ideas, messages and emotions interpreted by the receiver is somewhat similar to what the sender hopes to transmit. In my opinion, effective communication skills are vital to me due to many reasons.

First and foremost, being able to communication effectively would definitely be able to bring me a step closer to my peers, family and loved ones. I would be able to share my thoughts and feelings with them accurately, and them, to me. In this way, it leads to a greater mutual understanding amongst us as we are able to understand each other better, which may even lead to effective communication through non-verbal means. This would only come about when there is a huge depth in understanding a person effectively. Hence, this would allow me to interact with people better, equipping me with greater interpersonal skills.

Secondly, effective communication skills would also result in a decrease of the likelihood of a miscommunication and misunderstanding amongst peers. More often than not, I tend to feel frustrated at my incompetence to transmit information to others accurately, hence leading to a communication breakdown due to a difference in the interpretation of the information given. A common scenario where I have experienced this, would be that in a workplace, where superiors were unable to give accurate instructions to his workers, leading to a failure in completing the allocated jobs. Another would be a miscommunication of ideas among my friends, leading to tension and arguments. Thus, in my opinion, with effective communication skills, such problems would definitely be alleviated, if not eradicated. Instructions would be transmitted how they were supposed to be transmitted, and the receivers would be able to comprehend them how the senders would want them to comprehend. With a greater understanding, the chances of having a miscommunication and misunderstanding would definitely lessen. Hence, leading to lesser tension amongst peers and a greater understanding, which would forge better social interactions and bonds.

On a side note, I recently read on the net, that there is a good interpretation of the word 'assume'. I quote, "when you assume, you make an “ass” out of “u” and “me”. Assumptions happen when messages are not transmitted accurately and there is a lack of understanding, which results in people to assume their own interpretations. This causes misunderstandings and in some cases, leads to embarrassment and awkwardness due to an incorrect comprehension of the information.


Last but not least, being able to communicate effectively would definitely aid me in my future career. Equipped with the necessary skills, I would be able to present myself how I would want my future superiors to view me. Whether in interviews or presentations, I would be able to present my ideas to them accurately, which would again, prevent the occurrence of a miscommunication and an assumption of ideas. This would enhance the productivity and understanding amongst me and my colleagues in a working company. Once effective communication is achieved, I would be able to present ideas to a crowd easily and accurately, leading to a stronger ability in public speaking and hence, boosting my morale and self-confidence.

In my opinion, with so many advantages in effective communication, it is a definite must-have. It allows me to grow into a better person through better understanding amongst me and my peers, as well as allow me to have better interpersonal skills and at the same time, understand myself better to equip me with intrapersonal skills as well, and hence, leading to better social networking.